The Ipcress File (1965)

The Ipcress File has all the hallmarks of a great cold-war iron-curtain espionage thriller, except that it's set in London.  Michael Caine is Harry Palmer, a counter espionage agent who is investigating the disappearance of some of the country's top scientists.  The whole film has a tremendous ambience due to a terrific score by John Barry, sets by Ken Adam and a great washed-out look.  Michael Caine is effortlessly brilliant; not the same cheeky character as The Italian Job but never-the-less someone who knows when to go against protocol to get results.  Gordon Jackson is good as Palmer's partner as are both Nigel Green and Guy Doleman, Palmer's two superiors.

There are plenty of twists, though not so many to make the plot impregnable; my only issue was that when we found out what the Ipcress File was and what it involved, I didn't feel that it was explained WHY the perpetrators were doing what they were doing.  For me that left the end of the film rather flat.  Otherwise I was completely engrossed, and completely in love with John Barry's music. but, well, you know, that’s just, like, my opinion man.

I don't think making coffee has ever been so captivating.

Direction

Cast

Plot

Specific

OVERALL

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (1968)

I think in my head Chitty Chitty Bang Bang was similar to a Herbie film, so I wasn't really expecting a great deal.  What I certainly didn't expect was a slew of 007 connections.  For a start, the novel was written by Ian Fleming, with a screenplay created in part by Roald Dahl (You Only Live Twice) with additional dialogue by Richard Maibaum (various screenplays from Dr. No through to Licence to Kill); and the production design was by the mastermind of the volcano base - Ken Adam.  It was even a Cubby Broccoli production!

I’m not even on to the cast yet.  The nasty Baron Bomburst is none other than Goldfinger himself: Gert Frobe; Desmond Llewelyn makes a cameo appearance as Coggins the garage owner who is selling CCBB, and even Vic Armstrong (seasoned 007 stuntman - later stunt coordinator) is involved.  Phew, I think that’s it; answers on a postcard (or in the comments if you prefer) if you think I’ve missed any Bond connections.

As far as the movie itself goes, well, I'm the first to admit that I don't like musicals, but I actually rather enjoyed CCBB.  For two reasons probably.  The first is Dick Van Dyke.  His cheery eccentric inventor is quite an infectious character (and surely the inspiration for the most famous of inventors; Doc Emmet Brown - even his dog is called Edison), his personality perfectly encapsulated by the name Caractacus.  I know him primarily as Dr Mark Sloan, and I was aware that he could sing, but I didn't realise how well.

Which brings me to the second reason I enjoyed the film; the songs aren't that irritating.  Even the main song which is reprised endlessly is rather a fun ditty.  Those tunes that aren't so good are for the most part completely forgettable, so can't get lodged in your head and drive you mad (Suddenly Seymour I'm looking at you).  The children were for the most part pretty good and not so whiney and annoying, the introduction of the sinister child catcher keeps them on edge and if anything allows Caractacus and Truly Scrumptious (yes that's actually the name of the love interest) to act like children themselves.  Speaking of Scrumptious, Sally Ann Hayes is a good counterpoint to zany Caractacus, even if she doesn't do women drivers any favours by repeatedly driving into the same pond.

Apart from all the obvious (dance numbers, nice special effects on CCBB) Ken Hughes' direction isn't too shabby either.  The camera work is usually quite fluid, and was creative enough even during the slower songs.  Choreography of the dances was very good, in particular the performance in the circus was quite amazing, not least because it must have been really hard for DVD to have been half a move behind everyone else at the beginning.

So there we have it; I don't think I'm particularly becoming a convert to musicals by any stretch, but given the right cast, choreography and tunes I can quite enjoy them.  But, well, you know, that’s just, like, er, my opinion, man.

Moonraker (1979)

M:  One of our shuttles is missing!
007:  A Moonraker Sir?
M:  Yes, they are constructed by Drax Industries. Start investigating immediately.
007:  Drax, he must be a baddie, the name proves it! I’ll start by visiting Drax in California; then I think I’ll swing past Venice for some shenanigans. Perhaps Rio next, and then on to the Amazon on the pretense of finding a plant, but actually so that I can use my boat again (perhaps my old pal JW Pepper will be there). Finally I’ll try and get aboard one of the Moonraker shuttles (shouldn’t be hard, I’ve heard that the security is none-existent) to find out what this Drax fella is really up to.
M:  No need to be sarcastic 007, that all sounds highly implausible.
007:  Well of course it does, but we’re eleven films into this franchise, let’s just see if we can get away with a real load of old shuttle!

So, enough with the exposition. The pre-title action is pretty dramatic, the sky diving is shot really well; unfortunately whatever drama is created is soon belittled by Jaws flapping his arms like wings as his parachute wont open! The title song sung by Shirley Bassey is not bad, but forgettable, and sounds rather You only Live Twice-ish.

What then follows is a case study of camp, over-the-top ludicrousness; though it is somehow not completely un-enjoyable. No doubt it’s all nonsense and there are not many redeeming features, but it’s not as insipid as Diamonds are Forever or as stodgy as Thunderball. You almost have to feel a bit sorry for Roger Moore; I think that he tries his best (cheesy one-liners aside), it’s not his fault that the story and set pieces are so ridunkulous!

For example: there’s a fairly unnecessary scene shooting grouse, followed by a beautifully shot scene where Corinne Dufour (Corinne Cléry) is chased through woods by some big dogs; very atmospheric with a lovely score by John Barry. Brutal end to Dufour though! Then in Venice it all goes to shit: a knife thrower in a coffin; a speed-boat gondola; no, sorry, a hovercraft gondola, and a pigeon doing a double take! At this point the film makers are just taking the piss.

But it’s not over, there is also a security pad that only opens when the Close Encounters of the Third Kind tune is played. This kind of thing was almost expected in a post Star Wars world where everyone was jumping on the band spacewagon, so there was a painful inevitability to the laser gun battle in orbit around the space station. They really shouldn’t have. There is also a very undramatic cable car fight, more like a high school drama lesson on how not to act. Where Eagles Dare this is not. And to add insult to injury, Jaws then finds a blond pig-tailed mini-mate.

I’m sure Follow the Lemur will have a lot more to say about the science of Moonraker, but two quick points. Following analysis of the nerve gas 007 manages to swipe from the lab in Venice, Bond declares: “It’s the chemical formula of a plant”. WTF? How can he possibly say that? It looks like a couple of aromatic rings (I’m no chemist); but that’s just an organic molecule, not the structure for a plant; and it’s certainly not the genome for a plant! For comparison, this is one possible structure of lignin, a compound that is important in plant cell wall structure. Rather more complicated than the "structure for a plant" shown below. Oh, and the radioactivity sign in the Venetian lab is upside down.

However, there are a couple of redeeming features. Ken Adams again produces some great set designs. Even the room below the shuttle launch pad looks cool:

Drax is a pretty good villain as played by Michael Lonsdale. He never seems to be particularly out to get 007; to him Bond is just an irritation that needs to be gotten rid of. He clearly has his mind on other things. And I’m not surprised, his goal is none other than to replace God; to have “order in the heavens” in some sort of eugenic dream that will be started using extras from Logan’s Run; while encircling earth with a “necklace of death”! And all while being dressed as Chairman Mao. Exhausting! Well that’s Moonraker for you.

Order of Preference so far:

You Only Live Twice, Goldfinger, On Her Majesty's Secret Service, Live and Let Die, The Spy Who Loved Me, From Russia with Love,  Dr No, The Man with the Golden Gun, Moonraker, Diamonds are Forever, Thunderball

The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)

With time running out for this month's Blogalongabond, I decided to type as I watched The Spy Who Loved Me. There are maybe a few post-viewing additions, but generally these are the thoughts that tumbled out of my noggin as I watched.

The pre-title sequence is fairly well done; a great double entendre from M; “Tell him to pull out”, a bit of nuclear submarine disappearance exposition, some well shot (apart from the close ups) skiing action, and some quality 70s wacka wacka music (that was a wah wah pedal btw). This is followed by the very understated but cool title song, Nobody does it better.

I do love the way that for all of the sophisticated technology on display, the route of the submarine is displayed on an etch-a-sketch map, and overlaid with tracing paper to show that someone is now able to track the route.

The Spy Who Loved Me introduces us to Jaws, perhaps (to me anyway), the most iconic of evil henchmen. Portrayed by the giant Richard Kiel, no metal bars or locks can contain him; though his vampiric way of dispatching people (and sharks) is rather unconvincing. Speaking of iconic, the car is that wonderful white lotus that I remember getting free with cornflakes or something; and it is quite a cool shot as it drives out of the water onto the beach.

The first half of the film is concerned with tracking down some microfilm McGuffin, as Jaws tried to bump off anyone connected to it. At least the search leads them to some tremendous locations including the Pyramids at Giza and Karnak. Though it’s quite a trek from Cairo to Karnak, only to then get a boat back to Cairo, but then end up in Abu Simbel which is in the opposite direction (if my geography and google maps research is right)! The second part of the story sees 007 and Vin Deisel agent XXX, tracking down the evil Karl Stromberg who is hiding out in his very own Atlantis, and ship courtesy of Ken Adam’s set design. The ship even comes complete with a set of red-shirts ripe for the killing; the whole battle towards the end is rather reminiscent of YOLT, though rather less haphazard.

Great score by Marvin Hamlisch, I liked the mysterious themes around Karnak, and then I suddenly realised the Lawrence of Arabia theme as 007 and XXX walk around the desert. Though I wasn’t sure about the French music in Sardinia. Some of the music sounds really quite 70s and dated, but it is still quite groovy and works well within the film.

Once again Roger seems to be enjoying himself, having a bit more spring in his step than in The Man with the Golden Gun, though his one-liners got cringeworthy quite quickly: “All those feathers and he still can’t fly!”. Though amazingly there is actually a reference to 007 being married before! Barbara Bach is reasonably alright as Major Anya Amasova (Agent XXX), she seems fairly strong headed and in control; that is until Roger flashes his huge nipples at her and suddenly her tit-tape is straining at all her skimpy tops! Curd Jürgens is good as the evil Karl Stromberg, a marine biologist with designs on starting a new world order. His gravely voice is the dominant force in every scene that he is in; though I was surprised how quickly he died. Obviously having being shot several times, he would die quickly; rather I am surprised that Bond just shot him, with no daft slapstick punch up and slow motion.

TSWLM is more of a return to the fun and intrigue of LALD after the rather more linear story of TMWTGG. Great locations, groovy music, iconic car and henchman, Roger seems to still be enjoying himself; the only fly in the ointment is perhaps the naff one-liners.


Order of Preference so far: (this is starting to get difficult)

You Only Live Twice, Goldfinger, On Her Majesty's Secret Service, Live and Let Die, The Spy Who Loved Me, From Russia with Love,  Dr No, The Man with the Golden Gun, Diamonds are Forever, Thunderball

Diamonds are Forever (1971)

He’s back! Not just James Bond, but Connery as well. Initially we are teased by mysterious hands punching/strangling as we see that someone is tracking down Blofeld. What’s this? It’s Sean Connery; but he looks old! The super-fast, exposition-heavy intro then continues (is this the quickest he has ever said Bond, James Bond?); a random gets gooped, and then Blofeld himself is gooped (a lot of goop in this evil lair). What? Blofeld dead? The film is only 3 minutes old!

Following the frenetic pace of this intro, the film slows right down, and doesn’t get going again until... erm... the next film, possibly? M seems completely bored with 007 as he and “Sir Donald” brief him in diamond smuggling, whereas Bond just seems more interested in his sherry. Cut into this exposition are scenes showing the various stages of smuggling, including the many loose ends tidied up by Mr Wint and Mr Kidd! If ever there was an indication that we are now in the 70s, the style and Bromance between these two is it.

Just in case we were getting excited, we are treated to 15 min of following Diamonds around Circus Circus, then to the airport, and finally out to a secret research area. This culminates in Bond escaping in a Robbie-the-Robot look-a-like space buggy. I do love the way that the astronauts try to stop James from escaping, but they can’t because they move awkwardly as if they’re in space, except they’re in the Nevada desert! Following this ludicrousness there’s an exciting car chase! Which is about as good as this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XlVoxcDKyuA

Of course, it’s the performances of the main cast that hold a movie together. Having enjoyed Charles Gray’s memorable, though brief, appearance in YOLT, I was really looking forward to his take on Blofeld. Unfortunately the fine performance from YOLT is not particularly in evidence here. Whereas Telly’s Blofeld had an underlying menace, and a quiet confidence; Charles’ Blofeld is a bit too contrived; confident yes, but to the point of being too familiar: “Miss Case, showing a bit more cheek than usual?” He is however very scary, especially when dressed in drag! Was there really no better way for him to escape from his casino? He also comes across as being scared himself; when he realises that perhaps his oil-platform is in danger, he runs towards his submarine escape-pod like a frightened schoolboy - not very SPECTRE. Sean himself, as I’ve already mentioned comes across as being quite bored. By now he has lost all of the suave magnetic charm that was so evident in the first three films. Far from being the man that women swoon over, he seems bored with sexual shenanigans now; as he gets naked, he first hangs up his suit, displays his developing beer gut, and then gets into bed. He even considerately nestles the ashtray in his significant chest-rug so that Tiffany can smoke her post-coital cigarette!

In terms of the women, Plenty O’Toole is just a comedy name and doesn’t last very long; Bambi and Thumper the same; whereas Tiffany Case is probably the best character in the film. She is the one who keeps turning up, driving the plot forward, and providing a more interesting thread through the film than following some diamonds around; which is essentially all 007 does. Jill St John ensures that Tiffany generates far more intrigue than Blofeld, and seems far more involved in the plot than Bond the spectator. She even changes her hair colour, which leads to the only good one-liner from James as he admits that he doesn’t mind blondes or brunettes “providing the collars and cuffs match”!

Sadly, for the second film in a row there is no furniture fighting, but the vicious scrap in the lift with the real Peter Franks makes up for it. Very nicely shot and cut, it is very reminiscent of the fight with Red Grant in FRWL. It seems that Sean excels at fighting in confined spaces. Once again another highlight are some of the amazing sets designed by Ken Adam; none as huge as a secret volcano base, but very sleek.

There were also some excellent over-dramatic deaths; whether it is due to a plastic scorpion down the neck; or being shot in the head having been distracted by a kicked cat!

However, at the end of the day DAF is a very lacklustre James Bond escapade, not as stodgy or waterlogged as Thunderball, but still quite tedious. It feels like the whole film is a death rattle to Sean’s time as 007. Time for another change?

Order of Preference so far:

You Only Live Twice, Goldfinger, On Her Majesty's Secret Service, From Russia with Love, Dr No, Diamonds are Forever, Thunderball

You Only Live Twice

The evil plans of his subordinates have been so routinely foiled by 007 (Dr No, FRWL and Thunderball), that Ernst Stavro Blofeld (SPECTRE’s #1) has obviously decided that if you want a master-plan done properly, then do it yourself...! SPECTRE have been capturing space capsules launched by both USA and Russia; of course each nation blames the other for the missing probes and it looks like a full-scale war is imminent. Her Majesty’s government (ever the voice of reason!!!), don’t think either nation is to blame as their Intel indicates that the mysterious Pacman-style-shuttle-gobbling-rocket is being launched from somewhere in Japan. So, following an elaborate plan to convince the world’s baddies that he’s dead(..!), James Bond is sent to Japan to track down the source of the rocket.

The pre-credit action starts with the capture of an American space capsule by SPECTRE, before going to Hong Kong where we see 007 killed “on the job”! I like this, as both scenes tie in with the movie as a whole; instead of some fake-widow-beating and escape by tin-foil-jet-pack. The title tune, sung by Nancy Sinatra, is perhaps as well known as Goldfinger, and is also quite unusual (I think) in terms of Bond tunes, as the theme is recurrent throughout the entire film. In fact the whole film has a terrific score by John Barry.

This has always struck me as quite an iconic Bond film; probably a combination of great title tune, Donald Pleasence being the archetypal Blofeld (helped by Austin Powers no doubt), and a secret volcano base (the only kind of secret base worth having)! The fact that it is all set in the Far East gives the film a more exotic feel; though this brings with it some of the film’s more bizarre elements. Despite Aki (Akiko Wakabayashi) being a leading Japanese actress, her English accent sounded like Mrs Peignoir’s French accent from Fawlty Towers; the assassin/driver who Bond fights in Osato’s office looks more Polynesian than Japanese. At this point I was very happy to see 007’s penchant for fighting with furniture was taken to a whole new level as he fights not just using a chair, but an entire sofa (see also FRWL and Thunderball for other furniture fights!)!!

                                                        You're holding the wrong end!

Another random moment is making Bond Japanese!? I can see the point of him training to become a Jedi Ninja (in a camp as crazy as the SPECTRE training camp in FRWL; instead of flame-throwers there is ice-block-head-breaking!), but is it really necessary to have fake eyebrows/lids and a crap wig? Especially as he ditches them as soon as he puts on his Phantom disguise!

                        

Otherwise, Sean is as good as ever, though he does seem to get a bit more sweaty than in the other films. Any thoughts that perhaps he is getting bored with the franchise seem to be dispelled during the fight with Hans (Blofeld’s bodyguard) towards the end of the film. This is quite a full-on fight that is far more dynamic than some of the more slapstick offerings that we’ve seen in the previous two films. Donald Pleasence manages to create a truly iconic villain, even though he doesn’t have much time on screen. Of course as a genius, he even has an “Erupt Volcano” lever installed in his base! I think Charles Gray is great as Dikko Henderson (yup, “Dikko”!?!), it is a shame that he is only alive for about 5 minutes... Obviously his talent didn’t go unnoticed which is why (according to my James Bond encyclopaedia) “It is rumoured that a few years after Henderson’s death, Blofeld used him as a model for his surgically-created looks”! What a wonderfully unlikely way to get Charles Gray back into the franchise! Mie Hama is pretty enough as Kissy Suzuki, but she doesn’t do much other than run up and down the volcano a few times in a bikini.

                                                                Perfect hiking gear

Overall, I think You Only Live Twice is tremendous fun (though clearly not as thrilling as doing the voice-over for the trailer). Helped along by Roald Dahl’s screenplay, direction by Lewis Gilbert which really gives the film a freshness, and a brilliant production design by Ken Adam. There are almost as many memorable moments from this as there are from Goldfinger, but I think the plot is more intriguing and the extra dimension of Bond being involved in the space-race ups the ante in terms of the Bond franchise. As a final thought; we should take a moment to remember the Russian astronauts who put on the white henchmen overalls (at Bond’s behest) who were most likely shot in the climactic battle!

Order of preference so far:

You Only Live Twice, Goldfinger, From Russia with Love, Dr No, Thunderball

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